Immobile

Planets don't have birthdays and neither do aliens- think about it!

And yes, Vi- change is all-pervading. (:-P)

Blink

Maybe redemption has stories to tell
Maybe forgiveness is right where you fell
Where can you run to escape from yourself?
Where you gonna go?
Salvation is here...

[Switchfoot- Dare You To Move]

Yes, I fucked up and yes I’m hiding behind a smokescreen of lies but you’ll miss me when I’m gone.

I just started to read The Handmaid’s Tale.

Why are women treated like rabble? Why for that matter are certain sections of the human populace treated like they aren’t worth anything? Can you help where or when you are born? What made Hitler tick?

Questions make my head whirl. I think I’m crazy, but then almost all the best people are.

Can you help why you are born? I couldn’t. I sure hope fate doesn’t exist.

Why is a raven like a writing desk?

So long, farewell

“Parting is all we know of heaven and all we need to know of hell.” ~Emily Dickinson

Unspoken

There were so many words I could not say,
When I looked into your eyes,
I wanted to be able to tell you one day,
But I was left speechless every time that I tried

You must have stumbled across the key,
And discovered so much more.
You found a hidden place in me,
You found my heart and opened the door.
And I cried in the pain
Of losing my dear friend.

Will it ever be the same again?
If it passes will it be the end?
I realized it was worth so much,
As I lay in bed that night.
So I allowed my soul to be touched,
Without even putting up a fight.
Are my eyes deceiving me?
When I see you standing there?
Are you playing games?
Just to prove I care?

You used to speak my name in a prelude,
In a reference to love,
With such loving attitude,
As if it were a message from above.
With the palms of your hands
Pressed firmly against mine,
A white dove lands,
And the sun begins to shine.

I’ll stay here and play my part,
But after the beauty starts to die,
Will your footprints still be on this earth?
Though it is so hard to say goodbye,
Your friend I'll always remain,
As long as you are in my heart,
I’ll keep the friendship between you and me.

The letter I wanted to send
Casually inquired,
How could you have brought it to an end?
You were all I ever aspired.
After this life is over,
You’ll be one person I know I'll meet.

It was too late to start over, and so you left me with this...
I'll hold you within me for a lifetime,
If you’d just held my hand,
We could have had a wonderful time,
In the days yet unplanned….

I miss you my friend
Thank you for all you were
All these things I’ve never said
And unspoken forever they shall remain..

Blind

It is winter again. Almost three years have passed since I have visited my city. I have so many people to meet, so many places to visit, so many things to do.

This is the worst and best winter. I have lost a piece of my heart. I have become a façade of turmoil. I like the sound of that last sentence. Outside I smile, I laugh, I chat and then I come up to my room. I stare at the laptop for hours trying to resolve myself to the truth. My fingers move mindlessly over the keyboard. I have flashbacks to everything that I did in the last 15 months or so. Everything I do has a poignant meaning to it. I can’t hold back these tears anymore. I miss my room. I miss shouting myself hoarse. This is the last I shall write about this.

I have become blind again. I have gone back to the fake smiles and the fake fakeness that defined me before.

Flashes of colour pervade my mind.

It’s like the whole world has become a giant kaleidoscope of blurry figures.

Things aren’t that great on the home front either. But then I’m kinda use to that by now.

I want to go to Bombay in the winter holidays. I want to have vada- pav with you in our school canteen Anu. I thank you for finally giving me the courage to talk to you again.

Flashes of red. What does that have to do with anything? I don’t know.

I want to build a space shuttle which is blue. With gray trimmings and purple stars. Why shouldn’t space have a flash of colour too?

I couldn’t sleep yesterday. So today I cut class and had a cold water shower. All that did was chill me to my bones.

I want to forget. I want to forget. I want to forget. I want to forget.
I keep saying that as if it’s a charm that will ward off evil.

My head hurts. A lot.

I did math again yesterday. Its scary how out of touch I have become in 3 months. I will have to slog if I ever want to do what I want to do.

I was out of my mind to come here. I hate this place.

This 26th of November I had an exam. Just like the 26th of November 2008. I can’t think of this anymore.

I am going to have to post this before the net goes off.